Performing Pee Squats & Poop Observations

WARNING: This post contains graphic and descriptive content regarding poop, it’s form, shape, smell, and consistency. Material may not be suitable for all viewers. The author of this post shall not be held liable for any physical, emotional or mental reactions sustained by the audience while reading. Proceed at your own risk.

I never knew how common a word like “poop” could become until I myself, became a mother, and the joys of potty training a two year old began.

In retrospect, Izobelle has done wonderfully with the task of acknowledging the toilet, as well as how and when to use it. We began the potty training experience in January 2014 and she has excelled rapidly at the duties of appropriately dropping doodies. In January, she moved up into a new classroom at school called The Transition Room (the room proceeding Toddlers, but preceding Pre-K) and their daily schedule requires bathroom breaks. Because she would now be incorporating the toilet into her school routine, we thought this was the best time to acquire mass amounts of underwear and halt on any further diaper purchases. Izobelle caught on quickly and she actually loved going potty on the toilet. For the first couple weeks, we gave her a tiny candy any time she would go pee in the pot, and a slightly larger cookie if she performed a numero dos. After a while, she eventually forgot about the candy and has just been using the toilet on a regular basis with accidents few and far between.

Recently though, things have gotten weird.

In February, our family grew and we adopted a little puppy named Joseph Gary “GareBear” Peck. Or commonly known as Joe, Joey, or Little Shit. Needless to say, Joey occasionally has pee accidents inside the house. I don’t know if Izobelle has taken a liking to how Joey tinkles, but last week, Joey had one of his “accidents” inside. After cleaning it up, Izobelle informed me that she, too, had to pee. I instructed her to go sit on the toilet, like she had done several times in the past. A couple minutes later, the sound of a liquid substance hitting the floor whistled through my ears. Assuming Joey was peeing inside again, I quickly turned around to stop him and to no avail, my daughter was squatting on the kitchen floor (a pose quite comparable to Joey’s) and was peeing. All. Over. The. Kitchen. Um, what?

Yesterday, Izobelle was in the backyard with Joey and after a few minutes of being out there, she opened the door to let me know she had peed outside. I thought she was surely mistaking her words and meant to say “Joey peed outside,” but sure enough, after accompanying her to the scene, there was a giant puddle of pee all over the patio and her pants were soaked.

To accompany the strange places she’s being peeing, she has also developed some strange habits.

The other day, she pointed and me, and very adamantly said “Mommy, pull my finger so I can poop.”

She has also been describing her poops in great detail after dropping them into the toilet. She likes to say whether they are big poops, or small poops. She will also inform me whether they smell bad or smell good, and this morning she let me know that her droppings resembled a “flower poop.” What exactly a flower poop is, I couldn’t tell you, but she knew and that was enough for her. She also likes to verbalize every time she poops by letting everyone in the room know it happened. The location is irrelevant because she has announced the news in doctor’s office waiting rooms, the grocery store, at restaurants, to strangers passing by, and to most certainly all friends and family.

Aside from all the poop propaganda, Izobelle also apparently loves everyone and everything except me. More often than not, when I tell her that I love her, she’ll respond by letting me know she loves something else. For exampled: Me–“Izobelle, I love you.” Izobelle–“I love ice cream.” Me–“Izobelle, I love you” Izobelle–“I love daddy” “I love Joey” “I love Goosebumps” and so on and so forth. Is it bad that this hurts my feelings?

Also, Izobelle would like a pet dinosaur. She asks for a pet dinosaur nearly every day. She thinks she will be getting one for Christmas this year. However, to contradict that statement, every time she goes into a room, she has to close the door behind her and says “Now dinosaurs can’t eat us.”

In addition to all the above cuteness, Izobelle likes to call all children, her “babies.” Whenever she sees our neighbor kids playing in the street, she gleefully screams, “I go play with my babies?” One day, I heard her tell a much bigger child than her, “No baby, you can’t do that!”

This kid might be the funniest person I know, and I’m so happy I get to be her mommy.

Bad Blogger Seeking Forgiveness

I realize I have’t created a blog post dedicated to the growth updates I see coming from Izobelle in a LONG time (like, over-a-year long time). I apologize. In the last year, 1,967,542 different things have happened in my life and it seems blogging was put on the back burner. I have spent several hours over the last 365 days, however, to improve my website and with these changes, hopefully, I can make consistent blogging a priority this year–both with updates about Izobelle, as well as updates regarding my photography. SO. With all that being said, let me share some things about the most amazing two and a half year old on the planet:

• Izobelle likes to say “fart” instead of “burp.” Example: “Mommy farted out her mouth.” It’s quite gross if you don’t know that she’s referencing to a burp, but I assure you, she is. I don’t know why she won’t use “burp,” and we’ve tried vigorously to reinforce alternative vocabulary–but at this point, I don’t really care anymore. Fart isn’t a bad word, it’s actually pretty funny, and it’s pretty funny when she has a small burp in public and then screams “I farted!” Reactions from various on-lookers are great.
• The other day, while driving Iz to school, there were rain drops all over the car window, from the previous night’s down pour, and Izobelle pointed at the window in complete awe and said “Look mommy! Spider poop!”
• Before I tell you the next story, you need some background information into my childhood. My parents bought me The Exorcist for my 10th birthday and The Blair Witch Project for my 12th birthday. Needless to say, I have an infatuation with horror movies. Moving forward, Izobelle went to my mother’s house for a sleepover about a month ago and when she came home, she demanded to watch Goosebumps. Concerned, I called my mom to see where she had seen Goosebumps, and to no surprise, she had been watching it on Netflix all night. Thanks mom. So, now Izobelle is obsessed with watching Goosebumps and may or may not have seen all 75 episodes on Netflix. And when I see “may not have,” what I mean is that she definitely has. Even when she looks scared, I ask if she wants me to change the channel, and she says “No!” Like mother, like daughter I suppose.
• Effective January, we have been doing some hardcore potty training. We’ve gotten to the point where Iz only wears a diaper during naps and sleeping at night. For a while, we offered a reward system for peeing/pooping in the toilet, but she does it so often now that she’s pretty much forgotten about receiving goodies for going potty in the bathroom. However, when she does go potty or poo in the toilet, I still vocally acknowledge that she did a great job and will either cheer her on or clap for her. Now when Izobelle sees me going to the bathroom, she starts clapping her hands very rapidly and screams “Great job, mommy!” I sure do love her enthusiasm.
• We left the house last weekend without brushing her hair (my bad) and later that afternoon, I told her that her hair was a mess and she responded very quickly “But at least I brush my teeth!”
• I also have a bad habit of saying “Knock it off” when I’m in a bit of a bitter mood. Most of the time, it’s directed at our dog Joey but Izobelle has picked up on it. However, she doesn’t quite use it in the most accurate context. The other day she wanted to hold my hand in the car and I told her I couldn’t because I was driving. She yelled, “Well, knock it off, Mom!”

These are just some of the trillion things that Izobelle does on a daily that just define her personality (and sass). I promise I will try to post more on a regular basis.  Every day this kid changes, learns, and grows and I can barely keep up with her. I really want to make sure I’m capturing and documenting all of the silly, serious, and sweet things that happen in our life. For now, that is all!